Let’s keep the fun going! If you have the perfect caption for one of these pictures, or your own great photos of dogs swimming, share them in the comments.
There is no denying that accomplishing a major long-term goal feels fantastic. But, unless you’re superhuman, that kind of thing doesn’t usually happen on a daily basis. What happens more frequently are small successes which, if we stop to acknowledge them, can actually be great sources of happiness.
However, sometimes recognizing little, daily victories can be harder than it seems. In some cases, this is because we’re simply not in the habit of noticing them. Other times, it’s because we deliberately downplay them, which happens for a couple of reasons:
1. Having a big goal, such as getting a promotion or losing a significant amount of weight, can lead to a fear of getting excited too soon, and being let down later. We think that if we allow ourselves to do a little victory dance when our boss gives us a compliment or the number on the scale goes down, we set ourselves up for disappointment. We worry that the compliment was only a one-time thing, and remind ourselves that our weight loss could easily plateau the next day.
The best thing to say to these concerns is, “So what?!” If our success doesn’t last, we will still be disappointed, whether or not we let ourselves be happy about it first. So we might as well get some joy in the meantime. A more effective safeguard against disappointment might be to just make sure we don’t kid ourselves ( i.e., “The boss complimented me … I bet I will be vice president of this company by lunch!”). Not only that, it is always possible our success will continue and we actually won’t be disappointed. So, why not get even more mileage out of a big achievement by celebrating along the way?
2. Another thing that can stand in the way of enjoying small victories is the feeling that we aren’t pushing ourselves hard enough if we celebrate anything short of complete success. Those little milestones might seem so far below our ultimate goal that we think we don’t deserve congratulations. We also might fear losing motivation by building a small accomplishment up too much (e.g., “Hmm, I guess 5 pounds is a lot of weight. Now I can EAT ALL THE COOKIES!!!!”).
Those kinds of thoughts are actually fairly unproductive. Even if an accomplishment is way smaller than whatever we ultimately plan to achieve, giving ourselves an internal high-five can be the encouragement we need to keep working hard. If we never stop to admire our progress, it’s much easier to burn out. Building up an accomplishment is good for our confidence, and it is in our power to prevent any potentially negative effects (e.g., “Five pounds is a lot of weight, good job self! I guess turning down those cookies is worth it!”).
Once we commit to letting ourselves enjoy small victories, we just have to figure out where to find them. A lot of the time, these victories do come in the form of progress toward a long-term goal. They might also come from achieving small goals, like finishing up some repairs around the house or making a successful attempt at a new recipe. Small victories can even come from unexpected successes that aren’t related to any predetermined goal. Maybe you managed to bring all the groceries inside in one trip, or maybe you caught a dish that fell off the table before it hit the ground.
Whatever form they take, little victories happen all the time. Go ahead and cheer for yourself the next time you climb a flight of stairs without keeling over. No accomplishment is too small to smile about!
According to Punxsutawney Phil, the world’s most accurate (and furry) weatherman, winter will be sticking around for a few more weeks. Sure, cold weather can be inconvenient at times, but there are still plenty of reasons to celebrate the season. Here are some of the best things about winter:
The foods/drinks. Winter is that amazing time of year when baked goods attempt to take over the world, and the best part is, no one tries to stop them. It’s also the perfect time for warm, hearty soups. And of course we can’t forget about those overflowing cups of hot chocolate, topped with copious amounts of whipped cream and marshmallows. Or all the decadent holiday meals. Or the seasonal flavors of ice cream…
Playing in the rain/snow. Splashing in puddles, building snowmen, having snowball fights, and going sledding are basically the whole point of winter. And I don’t care what anyone says, these are things you never outgrow.
Bundling up. It doesn’t matter whether you look forward to trying out the latest winter fashions or, like me, view winter as that awesome season where sweat pants, wool socks, and ugly sweaters are perfectly acceptable attire; there is something cozy about having the cold on your face while your body is all warm under every article of clothing you own.
The sights/smells/sounds.Winter treats the senses with snow-covered landscapes, rainbows, the welcoming aromas of baking and warm fires, the smells of fresh rain and snow, the pitter patter of raindrops on the roof, the silence after a snowy night, and so much more.
Winter sports. This is the season for skiing, snowboarding, ice skating, bobsledding, hockey, and just about every other athletic activity that requires precipitation. Whether you play these sports yourself, watch them, or enjoy making fun of them (curling, that means you), winter is the only time of year you get the opportunity.
Being cozy inside. There really is something great about the feeling of coming in from the cold, snuggling up under a blanket, and settling down with your favorite book or movie. Every type of indoor hobby, from knitting to building model airplanes, becomes instantly more fun when it’s chilly outside.
So, that being said, a few more weeks of winter could actually be kind of nice. I guess I don’t have a groundhog to strangle after all.
Did I forget any of your favorite things about winter? Please feel free to share them in a comment!
Everyone has heard the conventional wisdom that cautions against “living in the past,” and stresses the importance of making the most of present moments. But sometimes, the key to being happy now can be found by looking back.
Of course, there is a big difference between “looking back” and “running back at full speed, sitting down, and stubbornly refusing to ever move forward again.” Thinking about the past is dangerous in that second scenario because it is likely to lead to one, or both, of the following problems:
1. Fixation on regrets. It is easy to destroy the opportunity for present happiness by replaying the disappointments of the past over and over in our minds. Obsessing over things we wish had gone differently tends to result in even more regrets as our obsession causes us to continually miss chances to build a better life.
2. Mourning the way things used to be. When the present is less than ideal, it is tempting to wallow in sadness because we miss the happy moments of the past. But this comparison between “then” and “now” can trap us into believing that nothing could ever measure up to the good old days and cause us to overlook new joys.
However, by taking the healthier approach of merely glancing backwards, we can actually use the past to help maximize present opportunities for happiness. This way, the two problems above can be reframed as more productive courses of action:
1. Learning from mistakes. It is useful to remember things that have previously caused unhappiness, so we can make a note of what to do differently in the future. Memories of past conflicts, poor decisions, and moments of grief can serve as incentive to try new approaches that might lead to better results. Looking back gives us the opportunity to evaluate potential flaws in our current approach to life, and to correct those flaws before they are added to our lists of past mistakes.
2. Finding sources of positivity. Sometimes the present seems to come up a bit short on reasons to be happy. Past joys can provide reassurance that the world isn’t all bad, and the warm fuzzy feelings inspired by fond memories can give us strength to face the tough stuff. Not only that, awareness of things that made us happy before can guide us in the right direction as we consider what might make us happiest now.
Keeping in touch with the past allows us to preserve the best parts of our life and avoid recreating the worst parts. We just have to be careful not to let a casual, “keeping in touch,” relationship with the past escalate into an overly clingy relationship filled with resentment or unhealthy dependency.
As February 14th approaches, it’s easy to fixate on romantic relationships. Everyone is either ecstatic about having a date, wallowing in loneliness, or proudly announcing that they’re glad to be single. But let’s not downplay those parts of Valentine’s Day that actually have nothing to do with dating. Here are five awesome things about Valentine’s Day that everyone can enjoy!
1. Chocolate. Around Valentine’s Day it seems like there’s chocolate everywhere. There are pink and red M&M’s, oversized Hershey’s kisses, and those irresistible heart-shaped boxes of truffles. Show yourself some love and buy the jumbo box…you know you want to.
2. Those silly little cards with the Valentine’s jokes. You know the ones. Usually they have a cartoon character or a cute animal picture accompanied by an awful pun. Just because you aren’t in elementary school anymore doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the terrible jokes or the joy of distributing these to all of your friends and coworkers.
3. Candy hearts. While there are some people who actually like the taste of these, by the third or fourth one I’m usually convinced I’m eating chalk. But either way there is just something enjoyable about getting compliments from your snack. “Aw thanks, little candy hearts, I’m flattered!”
4. Gag gifts. Who can resist those ridiculous singing and dancing stuffed animals? Also, if you have never walked down the aisle at the store and pushed the “try me” button on every single one, I highly recommend doing so at least once.
5. The opportunity to let our loved ones know we care. Okay, so here’s where it gets a little sappy. But really, romantic partner or not, Valentine’s Day is a chance to make the people we love feel special. Whether we give them a card, a hug, or an expensive new car, taking the time to express our love feels good.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
One of the biggest mistakes people make in the quest for optimism is confusing actually being happy with refusing to be sad. In reality, there is a huge difference between the two. Real happiness comes from accepting sadness, not pretending it doesn’t exist.
As children learn early on, covering up a mess doesn’t make it go away. You might be able to fool your mom into thinking you cleaned your room by shoving everything under the bed for a while, but when she finally discovers those stale Cheetos and dirty socks hiding down there, it isn’t a pretty sight. The same is true for sadness.
For a while, we are able to ignore sadness. We can put on a brave face and hope that if we manage to convince everyone else we’re fine, we’ll eventually believe it ourselves. But, in the end, the bad feelings always creep out from under the bed. Sometimes, like those forgotten pizza crusts, they even re-emerge uglier than when we first hid them away.
Sadness itself isn’t the enemy. In fact, we wouldn’t feel happiness as strongly without it.
The important thing is learning to handle sadness productively. This involves a few steps:
Difficult as dealing with sadness can be, it’s a mess worth cleaning up properly. After the hard work of accepting and processing sadness is over, we are free to enjoy real happiness that isn’t tainted by the stench of bad feelings lurking just out of sight.